Brunch for Birthdays

Today marks a very special day in my life...it's my birthday! As most people my age do, I've been honoring my day of birth pretty much all weekend long. I started with a pre-birthday sushi dinner on Friday night (with some awesome bitches!), followed by tasty libations at a tequila bar last night with Brendan. But what did I do for my actual birthday? Well, it's become standard practice that on the day of your actual birthday you go out to a fancy restaurant of your choosing, where you feel entitled to order a few glasses of wine, an appetizer, the most expensive (upwards of $30) entree, and dessert...after all, your birthday only happens once a year, so you should do whatever you feel like doing. However, the traditional birthday dinner can be an incredibly expensive endeavor, especially if you live in a city, like wine, love chocolate dessert, and have an affinity for entrees involving pricey cuts of meat. And of course, there's always the awkward end-of-meal question: how are we splitting the bill? What starts off as a relaxing and indulgent meal with easy going friends, becomes a tense atmosphere of tight wallets and accusatory statements based on the number and types of drinks everyone ordered, who got an appetizer, whether the group is paying for the birthday girl/boy, etc.


So rather than go out to a swanky restaurant for my actual birthday, I decided to skip the headache and do something just as exciting, just as tasty, but much less expensive: I went out out for birthday brunch. In my very first blog post - Why Bitches and Brunching - I give a detailed explanation as to how and why brunch is by far the most superior meal of the day. So naturally brunch should be the meal of birthday celebrations. The food at brunch is just as delicious (if not more so) than dinner, and the cost of brunch is more accommodating for a large group of people. Obviously, you should treat yourself for your birthday and spend a bit more money than you normally do when eating out. All I'm saying is that going out for brunch for birthdays, especially if you're someone who invites lots of people to your birthday event, makes more sense - monetarily, emotionally, and mentally. Let's compare:


Drinks...at a fancy birthday dinner everyone will probably order a couple glasses of wine, each priced at a minimum of $9. As the birthday girl or boy you may start off with a cocktail, but for right now I'll take it easy on you and just say you only indulge in two glasses of wine. That's $18 for drinks, per person. At birthday brunch, everyone will order a celebratory mimosa or bloody mary, priced at a minimum of $8. Some people might be hungover from the night before, or know they'll be drinking some wine later in the evening, so most everyone only orders one drink. That's $8 per person. 


Appetizers...at a fancy birthday dinner, as the birthday boy or girl, you will definitely want to treat yourself to some sort of app. Others may join, some may pass - complication numero uno regarding the bill. Whether it's the fried calamari, roasted beet salad, or artisanal cheese plate, minimum cost will be $12 per app. At birthday brunch, no one will order an appetizer, but you and a few others may get a side dish to go with your main course. Whether it's the exotic fruit bowl, two maple sausage links, or short stack of chocolate chip pancakes, the minimum cost is only $5 - people who don't get sides are willing to let $5 come and go. 


Main course...at a fancy birthday dinner you want the most expensive thing on the menu:  Filet mignon with truffle mashed potatoes, wild Alaskan salmon with grilled organic vegetables, or seared sea scallops over saffron risotto. Some of your friends will "go big or go home" as well, but others are going to start tightening their wallets by ordering the chicken salad, no side. Minimum cost will probably be $28 for the tightfisted orderers (and that's aiming low). Your steak is going to be closer to $35. At birthday brunch, most meals are similarly priced, whether it's coconut crusted french toast with real maple syrup, eggs benedict with smoked salmon and avocado, or a three-egg omelet with asparagus, wild mushrooms, and goat cheese. We're lookin' at $10 minimum for the "two eggs and toast" eaters, and $15 minimum for house specialties.


Dessert...at a fancy birthday dinner you're getting the chocolate molten lava cake with raspberry sauce, homemade vanilla bean ice cream, and whipped cream. No one will judge. It's your birthday so go at it. Others may split a dessert - it's not their birthday and they don't want to be seen as gluttonous - whereas your cheap friends are going to decline dessert and then nibble at other people's orders. $8 minimum per dessert. At birthday brunch, you probably won't get anything for dessert because you'll all be too full from the surprisingly large quantity of food that was on the main course plate, plus the side dish you ordered, which will only be half-eaten. No dessert, no additional cost. 


Splitting the check...at the end of a fancy birthday dinner you get to see your friends' true colors. "I only ordered a salad, so I don't think we should split the check evenly", "Susie Smith and Jenny Jones both had appetizers and desserts, so they should pay more". Beware of the cat fight that may occur. The bill will get paid, but someone will pay more than they should have, someone with be super stingy and leave the table before he/she can be asked to put in more change, and as the birthday girl/boy you may end up having to throw a few quarters in for the tip. At birthday brunch, everyone usually orders the same amount of food, since appetizers and desserts aren't really in the equation. So, splitting the check evenly is a relatively civil experience. Plus, it's early in the day, people are feeling refreshed, so even if they didn't order a beverage they're not going to make a big deal about splitting the check evenly. Your waiter/waitress might even end up with an extra large tip because your friends are feeling so generous in the morning. 


The final score: fancy dinner = $66 minimum per person, not including tax or tip, and possible broken friendships; brunch = $23 minimum per person, not including tax or tip, and a satisfied stomach to start your birthday off right. There's a clear winner here folks. And the best part about going out for a birthday brunch is later that evening your friends, family, boyfriend, girlfriend, or even you, can make a homemade birthday meal - complicated or comfort food, it doesn't matter. No fancy restaurant can beat the experience of sharing a bottle of wine at home (which costs as much as one glass of wine at a restaurant), with people you care about, eating homemade food that was made with lots of love, listening to your own Itunes, not worrying about paying a check. So, for your next birthday, start your day with a special meal out, and end the night with an intimate meal in. Have brunch for your birthday.

My Birthday Brunch!

East Coast Grill

Make your own bloody mary at the largest bloody mary bar!

My bloody mary: vodka, tomato juice, fresh tomato salsa, horseradish, hot sauce, celery stick, carrot stick

My entree: Smoked Duck & Jack Cheese Tortilla Rellana with sweet potatoes and garlic-seared greens

Brendan's entree: Ancho-Molasses Grilled Skirt Steak with chimichurri, cheesy scrambled eggs, potato-poblano hash, griddled corn bread, and guava butter

Shared side order: Fried Sweet Plantains with queso-fresco and banana-guava ketchup